Episode 24: The Gift of Generosity
Everything we do is like a thread in a larger tapestry. How might we change the pattern?
Welcome into this exploration of what generosity has been to our species over time – and why our current sense of it (which often centers more around gifts than around the real SPIRIT of mutuality) might not deliver the neurochemical goods our ancestors seem to have enacted as a cornerstone of survival.
How to Habituate (generosity and beyond…)
The brain can be trained to seek and share more generosity in the same way it can learn music or language. Habits are ingrained through a cycle of cue, action, reward, and repetition.
Think “cue → action → reward → repetition”
“CUE” means a moment of choice.
Maybe you notice someone’s need, or you realize you have an abundance of something you’d like to share, be it time, money, attention, a talent, your energy: anything you can offer that some others may not as naturally have. Perhaps that shows up as a feeling of empathy or resonance, one you choose to act on. This feeling is likely activating brain systems including the salience network, insula, and default mode network, or DMN.Then, take ACTION.
Take an intentional step, something you offer or give, even if that’s only a few kind words or the decision NOT to react to someone caught up in frenzy. Or something more tangible, a gift that enriches another’s life or fills a real need. For a reset toward true generosity, it’s important to sense kindness (or other positive emotions) in your actions, and to do them without a sense of obligation or expectation. Brain systems at play? A few that participate in motor planning + value computation, but very much in the ventromedial prefrontal cortex.Emphasize your sense of REWARD.
That “sense a positive emotion” part is KEY. To truly habituate generosity (or anything), cue your brain to explicitly notice your internal reward. Neither action nor positive emotions alone won’t build the habit, at least not efficiently. THAT happens when you pause to acknowledge what you’ve done and how it makes you feel. At play in the brain: the ventral striatum (remember that from the episode?); dopamine, oxytocin, seretonin release.
…and then REPETITION.
Even small acts, repeated consistently, rewire the brain. Repetition creates efficiency (remember that cheapskate brain? It loves a fast and easy path – and it likes repeating what has already worked). Think about this: most of what we do has been habitually ingrained, at least in part. All of your habits formed small practice by small practice until they became nearly invisible, simply something you do. Don’t be surprised if your brain puts up a bit of resistance at first. After all, per ITS agenda, your older ways have been working just fine. Stay with it. Bring the idea of the new habit (and the good feeling it delivers) to mind as you get ready to sleep at night if you really want to speed things up. Parts of the brain involved? Probably pretty much everything!
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Best, Ellen
ellen@thebrainandbeyond.com
